Sheryl Crow Has Solved Global Warming

Sheryl Crow in a genius moment has come up with a way that we, as Americans, can fix the Global Warming by limiting their usage of toilet paper in the bathroom.

Saving the Earth: The Biodiesel Bus Blog

I really wish I was making this up, but she is truly serious. She is so serious that she has unwittingly inspired me to start a new campaign. I am going to start granting awards to the brightest minds of our current generation. She is now the first winner of the Illogical Thought Award (Actual Award Image Coming Soon) Her idea is so far outside the realm of common sense that she truly deserves this award. I hope that she will accept it with pride!

Here is her actual statement:

Crow (4/19, Springfield, Tenn.):
I have spent the better part of this tour trying to come up with easy
ways for us all to become a part of the solution to global warming.
Although my ideas are in the earliest stages of development, they are,
in my mind, worth investigating. One of my favorites is in the area of
forest conservation which we heavily rely on for oxygen. I propose a
limitation be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in
any one sitting. Now, I don’t want to rob any law-abiding American of
his or her God-given rights, but I think we are an industrious enough
people that we can make it work with only one square per restroom
visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where 2 to 3 could
be required.

At least she does allow for the occasional use of more than one piece for the most extreme cases. The problem is she keeps going, she now has another genius idea. I actually hope this one pans out so that, when I have kids, I won’t have to convince them not to wipe their mouth with their sleeve!

Here’s her idea once again:

Crow (4/19): I also like the idea of not using paper napkins,
which happen to be made from virgin wood and represent the height of
wastefulness. I have designed a clothing line that has what’s called a
“dining sleeve.” The sleeve is detachable and can be replaced with
another “dining sleeve,” after usage. The design will offer the “diner”
the convenience of wiping his mouth on his sleeve rather than throwing
out yet another barely used paper product. I think this idea could also
translate quite well to those suffering with an annoying head cold.

After research on the idea of the one piece of toilet paper, I think that THIS MAN has it all figured out!

Cheryl Crow should be very thankful that she has a singing career because I’m not sure she could do much else…

This entry was posted on April 23, 2007 at 4:44 pm and is filed under CT Awards, Global Warming, Jeremy, Coherent Thoughts, Current Events. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response or trackback from your own site.

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